Celebrity Cruises

MV Mercury

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Operator: Celebrity Cruises
Year Built / Last Refurbished: 1997 / 1999
Length / Tonnage: 866 / 77,713
Number of Cabins / Passengers: 870 /1,870
Officers / Crew: Greek / International
Operating Area: Alaska, Mexican Riviera

Think of it like this...not quite a dozen years ago, the passenger/cruise division of the great Chandris organization decided it no longer wanted to be the dish cloth of the cruise biz...it wanted to be the table cloth. Chandris felt the time had come to move from their great past as carriers of migrants from Europe and Australia, and carrying hundreds of thousands of passengers from four continents who paid affordable rates for great cruises in ships perhaps grown threadbare....but they had one hell of an enormous following...what veteran cruise passenger did not know the BRITANIS....I know I did....and our Cruise Editor, Mark Goldberg, worked on her for a time....and when not working in her, sailed often as a passenger...and just loved her. It was a good, simple, honest product, and people loved it.

Forgetting, or maybe turning their backs on where they came from, Chandris formed their "upscale" division, Celebrity Cruises, fully intent on positioning themselves as the cruise line between Crystal and the rest of the market. Never mind that no such niche in the business existed then, nor exists now.....at least not at tariffs required to operate in the black...from almost the beginning Celebrity has had to discount like crazy. It brings us to ask this question: Can a cruise line thoroughly rebuild an old monster (the GALILEO, rebuilt as Celebrity's MERIDIAN) and build from scratch five impressive new cruise liners, three of them megaships, and make money at rates beginning at $600.00 per person per week? Apparently not, because the balance sheets that had been Celebrity Cruise Lines ran hundreds of millions of dollars into the red. Defend them, oh you lovers of this fleet.....but old die hard Chandris fans, happy enough with the AMERIKANIS, VICTORIA, BRITANIS, ELLINIS, and a couple of REGINAs, feel no pity that the Chandris people had to sell out. They sold us out.....so goodbye to them! Another thing about these ships they built....we find they have no character, no personality, little to recommend them but pretension....and their itineraries have not appealed to us. Based on brochure rates, we find their competitors do almost the same thing for a less money and attitude.

A little ship history trivia for you....the last passenger liner called Mercury was originally North German Lloyd's BARBAROSSA of 1898, name class of an outstanding group of big 10,000 tonners. Seized by U.S.A. authorities on April 6th, 1917, American shipyard workers repaired damage to her engines and boilers that her German crew had wrought, and in short order, she started crossing the Atlantic as the U.S. Navy's troopship Mercury. In 1920, she was sold to a new outfit, the Baltic Steamship Line of New York, which planned to put the Mercury into service alongside the similar ex German liner POWHATTAN, and capitalize on the incoming trade from Poland. Great name, Mercury, but she never sailed commercially for them. Baltic went belly up. Maybe Celebrity should have checked maritime history books a little more closely....for the fleet messenger of the Roman gods was a harbinger of financial disaster for one group....and Celebrity doesn't seem to have been able to pay easily for this ship....so who knows?

Not so long ago a ship's uniqueness was best identified by the crew......notwithstanding the occasional eccentric passenger or those who stood out in the crowd, the crew brought their home countries with them....so a Greek crewed ship made you feel as if you were in an Athenian taverna, an Italian ship sent your mind off to enchanting Venice, and a French crew had you humming La Marseillaise. The Mercury has a international crew....so there is no pervading atmosphere at all. It's a modern hotel, nothing more, nothing less. So benign is the ambience that most of your fellow passengers will not remember the name of the ship within two years of taking the cruise. Decorative themes in some of the public rooms are but a weak attempt to evoke images of varying cultures or of the "good ole days".....but the results are ertzatz at best.....and are no more evocative than Hollywood movie sets or exhibits one visits at EPCOT.

The entertainment is Las Vegas style.....and it's probable at least one of the musicians will appeal to you. Much of it is digitally enhanced, on occasion lip synced, and in some lounges just too loud....but it's professionally choreographed, it's pretty to look at, and if you're not in the mood to gamble, shop or watch a movie, it's something to do at least. But for the most part, you won't come away from it thinking "Gee, that was really special....I'll never forget it".

The Mercury is huge....at almost 78,000 tons, Celebrity has managed to equip every conceivable modern convenience in her. Thankfully, there's nothing overtly tacky about her. So understated is she in many places, in fact, that sometimes she resembles the lobby of an upscale office building. But an important thing to consider is that you won't be dining or sleeping or paying much mind to these spaces. The food and service departments on the Mercury are just fine.....and so are the cabins.....and since much of your trip, whether you admit it or not, will be spent eating or sleeping, you'll have nothing to worry about if you sail on the Mercury.

The Mercury has all the essentials for public rooms on cruise ships in the 1990s. But they miss in their attempt to evoke images of sophistication and style.....because sophistication and style require personality and character.....and Celebrity ships don't have any. Celebrity made much ado about the Grand Foyer, their multi deck atrium....but all it is is their version of the same kind of space you'll find on Princess, Royal Caribbean and Carnival ships.....walkways, surrounded by places to spend your money. What would have been our favorite spot, Michael's Club, has been rendered useless to us because in their 100 yard dash for additional capital, Celebrity Cruises was able to turn this calm library into a cash cow.....using it as the cigar bar, where passengers ante up plenty for fine cognacs while they puff away on cheroots....the residue of these cigars leaves the room reeking the next day. And more than most other ships, when I think of the Celebrity girls, I think that they do have some pretty rooms here and there, but when I think of the Mercury, I didn't see a single place that gave me the urge to a) sit and linger, b) take a load off, sit down, and make goo goo eyes at my partner, or c) belly up to a bar, and order an overpriced drink....according to the bar lists we have at hand for the period from 1995 through 1998, Celebrity's bar prices are the highest in the trade....unacceptably high....and although, as a Celebrity passenger, you won't likely be passing by an Ashdod, Israel duty free shop where you can buy a fifth of Smirnoff's 80 proof vodka for $4.10 US, the fact that you are going to pay more than that for a single drink when the cruise line is paying no more than the Israeli shopkeeper for a bottle of the same stuff.....well, this really rankles me. As for bars, by the way, the Mercury has lots of them....and it doesn't matter what their names are....you can't miss them, nor can you miss other opportunities to spend money....because everywhere you turn, even heading into your own cabin, you're going to be hit with invitations to spend, spend, spend.

On the plus side, there's oodles of room...on deck and inside....and there are quiet nooks and havens too.....so the all important comfort quotient will be easily satisfied. For the active among us, and for decadence at a price (bring your Celebrity Signature Account Card....or your first born for collateral).....massages, facials, body restorations, and so forth.....the Aqua Spa is available on the Resort Deck up forward.

Just a couple of years ago, a big sales point for taking a Celebrity cruise was the food.....with menus inspired by chef Michel Roux, and top notch galley crew to prepare it, it was almost a given that you would leave the ship's dining room with a smile. We have reports that the quality has slipped.....this has become a bit of an epidemic in the cruise line.....as fleet sizes increase, and fares decrease, something's gotta give....and the easiest thing to cut is the food. I'm not saying the food isn't good anymore....it's fine....but it's on average, not much better than rival companies' offerings.....so you'll be well fed, but probably not wowed. The Mercury's Manhattan Restaurant, at least, hasn't changed.....it's an extremely comfortable two deck high room, with tables in all sizes and shapes....it's a room furnished with comfortable chairs, too....large enough to prevent crowding at the larger tables.

Perfectly serviceable, if not memorable, buffets for breakfast, lunch and midnight are available in the Resort Deck's Palm Springs Cafe.

Cabins on the Mercury are roomy, well planned and are as bland as oatmeal. At a generous 171 square feet for inside cabins, and 172 square feet for outsides, standard grades have two lower beds that in most cases, are convertible to a king, sufficient drawer and wardrobe space, a pleasantly arranged bathroom with shower, a mini bar, hairdryer, safe and television. In a bit of trickery, for which we should slap the hands of Celebrity Cruises, some deluxe cabins....and even mini suites.... are identical in size.....but with a far more efficient use of space, they feature a small sitting area and the television also has a VCR. The mini suite has a tiny veranda, only 42 square feet in size.....but is a whopping $2,420.00 (brochure rate) more for a couple for a seven day peak season cruise! Oh yes.....besides your porch, you get a bathtub too!!! A category 1 Suite is the equivalent of a mini suite on competitors....into a modest 246 feet Celebrity has squeezed two lower beds convertible to a king, a sitting area with a sofa bed and a larger bathroom with tub. The veranda is 79 square feet....for only $1200.00 more per couple, you can have identical accommodations but with a giant 179 square foot outdoor play area.

Only the Royal Suites and Penthouse Suites deserve the "suite" moniker.....and they have the distinction of being some of the most visually attractive rooms at sea today. At 537 square feet of inside living space, with 94 feet to call your "yard", the Royal Suites have a bedroom, a regular living room and dining area, a dressing room with walk in closet, and a whirlpool tub and stall shower. For over $1856.00 PER COUPLE PER DAY (brochure rate), you might enjoy a 1,101 square foot Penthouse Suite....with it's 118 foot veranda. These apartments remind me of a "Circuit City" appliance store.....they're fitted with a 32" Sony multifunction, interactive television in the living room and bedroom; a VCR in the living room and bedroom; a laser vision player, projector and 100 inch flat screen; an audio system consisting of a pre amplifier, amplifier, tape deck, CD player and infrared wireless headphones; individually controlled lighting system; security camera with 5.9" LCD monitor; fax machine; AND cordless phone. I haven't checked, but I'm certain batteries aren't included....and I'd take caution plugging in my hair dryer....circuit overload, you know! Oops....the cabin includes a hair dryer already! Though they don't waive the fee for pay per view movies on the TVs in standard cabins, they might give you this service gratis if you fork over the frankly vulgar rates the line charges for all this. Assuming your butler doesn't trip on all the extension cords, he'll be happy to serve full meals, canapes, whatever you may want and pretty much whenever you want. Notwithstanding the butler service, I must pause and wonder.....if you thrive on having all the gadgets, phones, faxes and such in these suites.....why bother to leave the office?

Although Celebrity's advertising caters to those in the 30's and 40's age group, you'll find all types on board. The cabins are large enough to provide comfort to families.....so on holiday and summer trips, keep that in mind. The line's fixation with all things up to date......electronic gewgaws, pay per view movies in the cabins....to name a few, are to reel in the more affluent, on the go type of vacationer.

Summering in Alaska, the Mercury sails from Vancouver on seven day cruises to Seward (for Anchorage). On alternate weeks, sailings are from Seward to Vancouver. In the winter she sails from San Diego on a 10-day Mexican Riviera itinerary. Stops include Cabo San Lucas (Mexico), Mazatlan (Mexico), Puerto Vallarta (Mexico), Acapulco (Mexico), Ixtapa/Zihuatanejo (Mexico), plus three days at sea.

Over the past several years the quality of the food, and level of service on board the Celebrity fleet has been inconsistent. While this is not necessarily unique to Celebrity, throughout this period the company continued to promote itself as the "highest-rated premium cruise line in the industry" and a company whose vessels are "consistently recognized with five- and six-star rankings". Unfortunately, the reality is that the company could not be what they claimed to be because the fares they collected did not permit them to operate the type of product they aspired to be.

Recently though, Celebrity has implemented a series of initiatives designed to improve all aspects of shipboard service. These initiatives grew from a the results of a quality assessment program that was conducted fleetwide. While these initiative has helped improve the onboard experience, keep in mind that not all of these initiatives are available on some of the older vessels in the fleet.

So do these changes mean that you will now have a great cruise if you take the Mercury? Probably yes. But will your cruise be extra special, giving you something other lines cannot? That depends on your expectations. If you are looking for a step up from Carnival or Royal Caribbean you most likely will be pleasantly surprised with your Celebrity experience. If however you are really looking for the five and six star product promoted in Celebrity advertising, you may have a hard time finding it on board.